His story

I think one reason why I don't blog so much is because I feel obligated to write entries that are filled with eloquence, insight, and just profoundness(?).  Also, as I grow older, I feel more and more weird about people reading about my life, especially people that I know.  I think I also feel like I'm betraying my sturdy black notebook that's been so faithful to me with its flexible binding, clean crisp pages, and just giving me enough lines for me to pour my heart out.  Sometimes I even feel lazy to write in that because journaling takes up so much time.

So, I just had a thought running through my mind...  I also feel that blogging allows me to over-romanticize my life or make my life seem too story-like, kinda like a movie.  I would read other people's blogs and be so amazed at how interesting their lives are, even if they're talking about the most randomest and insignificant thing.  I would look at my own life and wonder if there's anything I could extract to present for any eye to read.  It's true that our lives don't exactly play out like how movies do, but I'm realizing that there is a story involved.  Also, how do these movies and storylines get written up?  From real life experiences.  This may sound cheesy or overly romantic, but it's the truth: God is writing up my story!  So anything that I choose to talk about should be a worthwhile read because God is involved in it.  Just gotta have an open and honest heart.  :)

I'm learning more of God's faithfulness while He's calling me to be patient.  When He calls you to do something, He will certainly give you the tools to do that.  Even through the chaos in my mind of wanting to rush things, cry in frustration, mope about how unfair my life is, there is still a blanket of peace that smothers over all of that.  Peace that declares of His promises, how His hands are so tightly clamped over all the details of my life...peace that declares that I have a destiny to pursue.

I just want to have pure, unashamed, and confident joy in obeying and loving You.