simple acts of love

some things that made my heart smile today:

1. i was sitting alone at church today but a couple of minutes into the service, i see a familiar face at the corner of my eye and it's nary kim sitting next to me :)

2. i got to formally meet aecha ahjuma's husband (didn't really get to at the wedding) and he greeted me with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. i'm not so used to physical affection like that but when it's given to me it sooo soothes my soul.

3. as i said goodbye to my elderly client today she held my hand and kissed it, as always.

4. daniel moon ims me and says, " I <3 you =] "

God will do anything to show you that you're loved, huh?

persecuted but not abandoned

N. Korea publicly executes Christian

there are people who will do anything for the cause of Christ, even risking their life. all this lady did was distribute bibles, such a simple task. can i really digest the fact that a simple act of spreading God's kingdom like that can cost me my life? and here i sit mindlessly going on facebook and blogging about how a $5 shampoo makes my hair feel nice.

not trying to guilt trip myself...but it just kinda puts everything into perspective.

sometimes i tell myself that once God sends me somewhere like overseas, it's then that i will really put my faith into action.

but i'm here now. God has put me here. what am i doing with what i've been given? i feel like i've been given this assignment or mission but not really doing much to fulfill it.

are we really living like we don't know all of what God knows?

'poo recommendation

i don't usually get really hyped up about beauty/hygiene products but it's been a few months since i've started using this new shampoo and i'm finding myself being quite satisfied with it:

root awakening by john freida. makes my hair feel healthy aaaand smell good which is always a plus because hair can smell nasty (esp mine). thanks to eunice shim for the recommendation!

i'm off to nova in t minus 30 minutes... i've got my indie mix cd and my taylor swift cd and i showered. with the important stuff outta the way, now i'm gonna pack some clothes for tomorrow and empty my bladder. hahaha! blast offfff!

affirmative.

lisamkim: its a great day lisa
= )

me: it certainly is :)

man that picture is supposed to look horizontal but whatevs -_-

...no matter what, it's a great day.

sweet like honey

"but we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. we are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. we always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of jesus may also be revealed in our body. for we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. so then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you."

--2 corinthians 4:7-12

my friend sonia shared this with me when we were eating a late dinner last night at outback. such an unlikely place for scripture to be shared but hey, God can work through anything, yes? i've always heard of this, especially through the trading my sorrows song, but it's really hitting me to my core. though by ourselves we're completely weak, we're not powerless with Christ. it's okay to be hard pressed on every side, confused/perplexed, persecuted, and struck down. we've got Jesus on our side and He will not let us be crushed, in despair, abandoned, and destroyed. man, that has got to be soothing to your soul. sweet like honey.

fellowship with the holy spirit, the word, and other believers is so sweeeeet. i need more. we all need more. give us moooore, Lord Jesus!

let's do this. let's tackle life with it's ups and downs because we have the authority. the world can crumble around us but Jesus will always be standing true and strong. hiiii-YAH, satan, take that!

give me Jesus

give me Jesus,

give me Jesus.

you can have all this world,

just give me Jesus.

may that be my first and foremost desire...

i just ate at an indian restaurant in hburg called taste of india and WOWZA! i haven't enjoyed food like that in awhile. i don't know what everything was called but it all just tasted so good.

been listening to watermark today... one of my fave christian artists. i looooove christy nockels' voice. not only is her voice spectacular, she just ushers in a heart of worshiping with the Holy Spirit. sucha powerful and convicting voice.

i love laughter. i love being so highly amused by something that it makes me laugh out loud uncontrollably. i think it helps to make me sane haha. it helps me to believe for a moment that i don't have a care in the world... all my cares and anxieties are put on Jesus.

i feel an urge to journal... :)

harrisonburg sunset

photo courtesy of ellen pak's twitter (she doesn't know yet that i took this but i'll tell her later)

love love love the sunsets here. a plus about living in harrisonburg. :)

my last entry was so long oy. i don't even wanna read it and i wrote it.

some things on my mind:

-calloused fingers from playing gee-tah...but worth it! earlier i was playing/singing "draw me close" and "captivate us" ahhhh :)

-i've been listening to corey crowder non-stop since last night... tryin to figure out what it is that i like about his music. overall, he has a folkish-country sound. i usually don't like country but i like his style of it. it's like laid back, romantic, indie, easy-listening country. his voice isn't too rough or husky but still has undertones of that. and i like the folk sound. and the acoustic guitar sound. ohh his voice kinda reminds me of justin mcroberts.

-mrs. esther lee guard visited me today for lunch on her way down to tech :) so great seeing her. she's my beloved friend of like 13 years. lived in the same neighborhood for that long too! she just came back from a medical mission trip in peru and gave me a woven bracelet thing that has llamas on it. llamas are greatly cherished in peru apparently. oh she also gave me a scarf with llamas on it. but whenever i look at this woven llama, all i can think of are alpacas haha, i think they look cuter :)

-so eric sato is in town with his friends and i'm trying to meet up with him after he eats dinner before i go have dinner with sonia so instead of going out to run at purcell i showered instead so i could get ready on time... and they're still eating dinner and i'm just waiting. gah, i coulda gone running. i just sacrificed my physical well being for this kid.

-i need to register for one more tues-thurs class to keep my fin aid money. Lord, i know You will make a way!

-i need to take a CPR class before this fall semester starts. it's getting harder to find a class in harrisonburg that i could take in the next month. i couuuld get recertified through an online class but i kinda wanna do the real thing :P but i guess that could be my last resort. i kinda have a feeling that i will end up doing that.

-i watched bruno last night. so so so so wrong on many many levels but i guess some parts were funny. i think i tried to make a mental block of all the things that my precious eyes and ears saw and heard :(

mmk, till next time!

soul massage

so i'm not one who is musically inclined, but i've been having a heart of worship lately through voice and guitar. i kinda started picking up guitar again this summer and i can see an improvement in me, but i definitely have a long way to go. i always enjoyed singing like during worship times at large groups and church but i wouldn't really say i have a gift. actually, when i first started to live out a relationship with Christ in college and i sang more worship songs, it was a bit challenging at first for my voice to adjust to the songs for some reason. i guess for me singing secular and christian songs were different somehow. but over time i got better at singing worship songs and eventually didn't get so bashful at singing them when i knew other people could hear me. expressing praise and worship to God through music is so beautiful and powerful. those sweet melodies just tug at one's heart in a very special and unique way.

i'll provide an example: i work at a home health agency as a home health aide and i visit elderly clients and provide them help and care for different things such as food prep, bathing, toileting, dressing, taking meds, etc. there's a list of things that we need to check off for each individual client. i visit this one lady almost every week and she has alzheimer's. she can get incoherent in her speech and the way she processes other people's speech is just way off. like i would say "would you like some lunch?" and she would say something like "would i like some...smurf?" so i was visiting her one day and i was like man, i gotta provide her with something more than all of these things on her care plan list. everything had been checked off and done and i didn't feel like just sitting there watching her tv while she's sitting in her chair dozing off. across the room i noticed their keyboard. i've always seen it but never thought about playing. but that day i decided to play it. i only have two years of piano experience and i only know right hand so i was just playing simple melodies. there was an old church hymnal from the '40's on the stand so i was playing some hymns from that. then this lady says one of the very few things that actually made sense that day. but this was the most profound of them all: "oh, that sure does sound pretty." when i ask this lady a simple question, she doesn't understand me but when i played some simple melodies on the piano, something must have just clicked in her heart. i sat there amazed in awe and wonder at the work music has just done to this lady.

anyway, i've been playing more of the guitar this week and i've really been enjoying it. ellen and i were jamming around at my place on sunday with some songs that were laying around in my living room. i noticed the song "refiner's fire" and realized that it's doable for me. the only chord that i'm unfamiliar with in that song is asus but i just play a for that. ellen and sunah went home and sarah left for nova and i was left alone in my apartment. i started to play this song more and noticed that there was a difference in my voice. it sounded more pleasant to my ears, more controlled, and surprisingly had a little bit of vibrato. not only did it sound nice, but it was genuine worship. my heart's one desire was to be refined as gold and precious silver. my heart was crying out because i need Jesus more and more each day. and what's even more crazy is when i talked to pastor matt that night, he referred to this song when he was encouraging me.

there's no such thing as coincidence.

i titled this entry 'soul massage' because this experience with music reminded me of the book "blue like jazz" by donald miller. one of the things that really stuck with me is when he talks about how he was alone and isolated from other people for a period of time (ch 14). he calls up a good friend to talk with because he got scared at how he was going a bit wacko from being alone all the time. as she was telling him stories about her life and such, it was like she was massaging his soul. hearing another person's voice was so soothing. i felt like music was massaging my soul which had been so tense before and it massaged the soul of my dear client with alzheimer's.

anyway, i should learn how to write in a more simple and straight to the point way because this entry got way too long.

new every morning

i drove into the parking lot in front of b&n to have a post-dinner coffee date with my friend heesung and i saw this glorious spectacle as i pulled into a parking space that was the closest to the store which must have been specially saved for me. as i was drooling over the beauty (beautifulness is not a word, so i changed the word accordingly) of it all, i heard a sweet whisper: "My mercies are new every morning." i smiled as peace washed over my heart and took a snapshot of it on my phone.

22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
23 they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

--Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)

i dunno why but i've been in a blogging mood lately. lots have been going through my mind and God has been showing His love to me in a way that is fresh and new. it's been awhile since i've experienced this...maybe my heart has grown cold in a way lately. it leaves me thinking, "wow, why didn't i choose God first in the first place??" our hearts really are deceitful (Jer. 17:9). so i guess as a way to outlet this love and revelation that i've been receiving is through this blog. i could journal it (i just bought a new moleskine journal + weekly planner from barnes :D) but one difference between this blog and my private journal is that a blog is public. i'm not exactly sure who reads my blog but whoever does, i want them to know, believe, and take ownership in the love our Father has for all of us. even through my entries that are kinda pointless (like my very first one), may love flow through them! not because i'm some super holy mega christian. but because of the simple fact that God loves this ragamuffin (ref: The Ragamuffin Gospel by Brennan Manning) and chooses to radiate His supernatural, beautiful, perfect, exquisite love though me. i'm nothing without Him. it's not about me. who is the source of all that is good and loving that comes forth from my lips?

so i just spent the past 20 minutes typing some more stuff to this entry, but i decided to save the rest for a later time because it's on a different topic. this blogging thing might just be a phase that'll die later and then restart again, but we'll see.

i have work tomorrow at 8:30am and i'm getting tired... i sure do hope that the white mocha i had at the b&n starbucks that i told them to make again because i forgot that i needed decaf actually was decaf and that they didn't forget to fix it (that's happened to me before) but i guess i'll find that out tonight :) ohh being so sensitive to caffeine has its ups and downs.

hope for yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us." - Romans 5:1-8